A dazzling twilight dream 2015

So apparently from your eyes , nothing much has changed. Well, this year is very critical to me, I couldn't afford to lose any more time , so be patient I won't be what you say I am. Even though I how to change , I think I am too carefree for you to see anything. I think that's it.yeap I'm not worthy right now, but I'm trying hard. The thing about the past is one day everything seems the same but you realize it has the power to destroy the fabric of he present. It eats you up from the unsife, and linger there, until something else replace it, maybe something darker and confusomg, but I guess it can never go away. The only cure is facing it day by day, persevere, and try your best to take.control of the emotions. Well the reason I suddenly appeared here after 2 ears? I guess words are still my best froend. Well, one thing I know I won't run away, even though sometimes it's so empty inside. Ill take good care of you some time later when I'm in the mood, or when I move to other places. School 2015: who are you literally made me cried. Well, some scenes do, maybe it triggered something sad I don't voluntarily want to remember.maybe it responds to my regrets and inability. I vow to become better and I will.

Love talking to you :)

It just so happened that I suddenly remember that this place still exists. Hey, Im really sorry >< more precisely, I finally feel like writing something. Hahahaaa. It’s not like I don’t like to write anymore; hell, I still love it as much as I did back then. It’s just that I don’t have anything in particular to share, or maybe I just don’t have the feeling or the urge. Anyway I’m here mainly because I finally feel like reading what my friends have been writing all these time on their blogs. Hmm glad that everybody is doing well. To be honest, I don’t even know where and how should I start again. It’s almost 5 months since my last post, and oh well, time do possess wings, invisible wings… 2013, till now, was a WEIRD year. Haha. It’s half-nostalgic, half-surreal. In essence it’s a mixture of contradictory emotions and learning processes. Yes, I still have too much to learn. Happy things that happened recently… I finally got a new phone after all the years LOL. Its Note 2, and Im loving every minute of using it. It’s really convenient as I can watch animes or runningman or movies on the huge screen during travelling time and reading ebooks. But I still miss my w705, don’t know how are you now  last week I had an interview at Taylor’s lakeside campus for a scholarship but I didn’t perform well and was really disappointed but that taught me to improve the next time. Still, being shortlisted alone already made me happy for a while, haha, considering my results. College life is really busy but at the same time fun, mainly because my class has crazy people and a bunch of sport-loving guys. The academic part is still okay except physics which is totally crazy!! I need to put more effort in it obviously but I think, I THINK I can manage because to some extent I still love Physics, hahaha hope I’m not wrong == all in all TARC will be a one of a kind experience during my lifetime. These days I’m huge on Taylor Swift and Kelly Clarkson my phone is loaded with tons of songs by them. Mirrors by Justin Timberlake is really awesome though, and well I still love listening to older songs. Really love 2NE1 songs don’t know why! They relate to something in me somehow. And!! 1Q84 by Haruki murakami is a really really interesting book with awesome ambience and intersecting twists and turns, you guys should really check it out. Now I’m a full-fledged fan and recently found out TARC library has his books haha. And ohya I’m gonna be a licensed driver soon ,haha waited too long for this to come true. Gonna do my last lesson tomorrow and then I hope my test will go well. And I really miss Runningman TT now that I’m in college it’s hard to find time to really enjoy them anymore but I just gotta hold on for now. Seriously, my life is getting really bland, lol. Don’t know what to say anymore. Today and yesterday visited brother at his working place in Times Square and I must admit I really like talking to you. Something about the conversation really makes me feel better just about everything. Maybe whenever I’m moody I should try this kind of brother session LOL. Today I even did my chemistry revision at his workplace for 5 hours so that we could go back to Kajang together after his work ended at 6pm although at first the reason I went there was just to buy a bag for college.. It will be soon before long 

It Will Rain

Hey friends happy 2013 :) This will be my very last post(for now) as I will be heading for national service starting from this Thursday. There will be CNY break in February, and I'm only free until like, 19th March bahh. Still, it's the first time I will be away from home for such long time, luckily there are friends who will be going to the same camp with me, which is in Teluk Rubiah, Lumut, Perak. Kinda looking forward, hopefully I can learn something and make the 2 and a half months meaningful :)Oh, and I'll be botak == Can't imagine actually....but I'll be fine. 2012, was a really amazing year for me. Not that I had too many nice experiences, in fact there were more memories that I chose to forget than to remember...but still, I choose to always remember them and whether the past taught me something or left me beautiful things, I will never try to deny them and be somebody I'm not suppose to be again. I still felt sad somethings, about some decisions and actions...but the past are the past, the best I can do is to carry on and be better than yesterday. It's an amazing feeling to be just, me myself. About resolutions...I remembered I had made some, but because of my inability and the fact I was weak at the start of the year I had quickly forgotten to do what I aim to do.About results, I still can't excel; about budgeting and savings, I still can't make it my habit...hmm..but I did passed my grade 8 piano exams.. and there were kinda many personal things I had achieved actually..but still, everything was still not up to mark. But then,I would never forget about the future, although truthfully I had never had a specific dream, and until now I still had doubts over my path, my choice of study, etc... but still I believe I can make it. It's still not something I'm sure, but I wish to complete further studies overseas....and get to know the world. Travelling is my thing. :)About music,well I'm not sure what I can do about it,maybe I'll think thoroughly when I'm out of national service... I'm not talented,but I do love music, and it's a special thing for me. About Taekwondo, haha, I had stopped for kinda many months, and I figured out I wouldn't have enough time to pursue once I'm busy with my studies and all those...but still I would wish to continue when there's a chance. I hope to get a nice scholarship, I hope to go many places on this planet, I hope I can play better basketball, I hope I can watch a live NBA game, I hope I can read many many many awesome novels and non-fictions, I hope to be better in character and personality... the list goes on. But until I do something about them, they're still only 'hope'. :) But most importantly, there're still friends beside me :D There're so many people I want to thank, no matter what you've done to light up my day or to inspire me or just be there, a big big big hug and thank you for you all :) Thank you! without you, my life would be colourless...haha.. Somethings I feel that actually I'm really lucky and blessed, to have such wonderful friends. I hope you see this. :) And you. I don't know what can I write here, no amount of words can describe what I feel and what I want to say to you. Even though the sadness overwhelms me all the time, every other moment of the day, but you never fail to make me remember who I was, who I am now, and who I'll be. I don't know whether it'll be unrequited, and if it is, it doesn't really matter. 我会一直记得那么棒的一个你..给我那么大的勇气的你，给我动力与希望的你，还有太多太多...即使一切有时真的很像一场梦. 2013, let's make it better.

Hishoku no Sora

原来 真的是那么难受 好久不曾有过的感觉 真的好伤心哦 我不知道要怎么办了

我想你了、但是不敢和你说 知道吗、怕说了一种折磨 对你、还有自己 多少次忍住了想找你的冲动 那种感觉真难受 想爱却不敢爱不能爱真难受 多么想跑进你的心里看看你到底是怎么想的 我只是你一个无关紧要的人 我只是一个胆小懦弱对自己没信心想爱却不敢的人 那种感受你知道吗…… #SHARE

Black Lotus

Still searching for these :( Haiz