BUTTERFLY

One week left until mid-years over. Currently just want to bask in every moment and try to forget all the painful mistakes and past. I've made this promise to myself even though I had broken so many promises. I just nid to try all over again. Can't let those who's beside me down anymore. Try hard to stay true to myself and don't lose identity easily. It's not gonna be easy, I just hope I can be forgiven. No time for me to waste anymore =)

Do you know Butterfly is a symbol of hope? =)

Live to Rise

It's exam days and all I could say is that it's been really tiring so stay strong people and drink more coffee ! =D I've been battling my guilt, questioning my purpose and reading the books at the same time, so its quite a suffering experience... I'm all to blame, and sometimes regretting something you think you shouldn't have done but done it anyway is a pretty funny thing...It eats away at your core. Scary yet the only thing you can do is to refrain from doing it again ...and starting from today everyday is very crucial and important..my happiness depends on whether I can accomplish my tasks on time or not. It sucks actually, thinking of all the days you've been wasting...please dear, let me have the strength and heart to cherish simple things in life.

Haha XD here it is kuliansi pic XD

Today (Friday) is quite an unusual day for me. Actually, I'm thinking of skipping my physics and biology paper 2 exams today cuz I can't manage to study it in time, and I feel so blessed and lucky that I didn't do just that. During exam the same old question pops into my head again, and I feel like complete idiot that I didn't cherish all the time I got to study in the past....and after school it made me realize how I've missed the old times. I went to have lunch at behind pasar that awesome stall which is our usual gathering place after school if we have tuition or whatever in the afternoon with classmates moon wei jingni yoonping and ah qian and it's been awhile since I visited the stall. The food was awesome as always and the scene of us eating and chatting together made me oh-so-misseeeedddd the time in Form 4 when I had those bunch of wonderful memories with my classmates.T.T Kinda feel old already, and I better start appreciating things cuz if I don't, I'll leave Yu Hua with tonnes of regrets. Anyway things get kinda better than usual today and I hope the feeling is not just temporary. I need the strength from memories to carry on.

Live to Rise is a song by rock band soundgarden for The Avengers Movie. Check it out!

雨下得太久了......什么时候才会有阳光?

COMATOSE

Sorry but maybe I can't walk with all of you til the end together.
There's some things I need to settle before I can have my smiles again.

So, sorry if I had annoyed you all these while and thanks so much if you have done something to cheer me up.

Even though it's a small thing.
But I don't have time to enjoy the happiness now.
It won't be soon before long....Let me sink into Oblivion for a while.

Maybe I'll be better off that way, and maybe it'll be better for everybody around me.

Hiatus

It's been 4 months already since i last came here. Even now I stil don't really understand what happen all these days and stil is awestruck by how tremendously things have changed. So many things happened during this period....and I'm not gonna say much here because I myself am well aware that I haven't got the right and time to say anything yet. Everything is still in the works, and I'm seriously running out of time. I'm guilt-driven and yet don't know how to appreciate everything precious around me, causing destruction everywhere I went. Now I do really understand why people always wish time could turn back....but well, please give me strength to face the reality.
I've broken promises, failed myself and let everybody down. Let's stop for now, let me come here when the time is right again. Please bless me again and give me strength to redeem myself again....for the last time. I haven't got over myself afterall...thanks for everyone that's still by my side even for now.

And it seems like I had lost my past, well, some part of it actually....and things do really get messy sometimes, and I couldn't recall precious moments anymore. Well, hope things would turn around. There's always rainbow beyond the sky....can I reach for it, again?

Burial Applicant

刚刚早上其实是吓醒的

妹妹已经跟小瓜们去吉隆波了
他们是为明天乐队的欢送会准备
这次我把欢送会交给小瓜们处理了
是时候让他们也成长了
虽然我有时觉得自己很弱
这里是指处理事情方面
话说星期六在槟城   晚上发生了很多事
这里就不多说了
只能说很感谢在危机时刻还有很多人帮手
那晚   其实该说是转机吧？
让小瓜们把他们觉得我本身的问题都说了出来
原来这段期间带领乐队   出了好多问题    
我本身觉得     我有在这假期做出成绩
只是过程和做决定的方式错了    
原来啊
再纠结过去的事物是没用了
我上位都快半年了
时间真的快不够了
只能全力以扑了    朋友们     为我祈祷吧
希望能把缺点改掉
我这个人最讨厌的就是留下遗憾   


我真的不想错过


说回早上吓醒
其实我算是做了个噩梦吧
我梦见了自己被送到一个岛屿上了
那里是不允许离开的     岛上的人是危险的
我依稀有印象    当我被送到岛屿过后     我先前的羁绊
一切回忆和曾经存在过的痕迹    
都消失不见了  
那时   我想起了好朋友们      
想到往后我就不在他们的记忆中了     连存在过的痕迹都不留
和他们的每个时刻     每个相处的片断    
都好像打从一开始就没存在过


想到都快崩溃了
然后我就醒来了
天空没有颜色     听到手机有信息的铃声
却依然躺在床上    可能心有余悸吧    
这一切是那么的真实     你想想看
当你知道你自己的存在只不过是谎言     
你会有什么感受？     


这个梦的意义     我并没有搞到很清楚
只不过我发现到     现实生活中      是变幻无穷的
下一秒发生的事     没有人知道       
不想自己的人生那么快被遗忘
虽然打从一开始人类已注定是短暂的一个转瞬即逝


差别只在于    
你想不想在这短暂的转瞬即逝
改变这个世界

DECEMBER ALREADY MAN!!
This december is one of my fullest month =) By fullest I mean that everything I do is meaningful and all the hard works finally paid off ~there's nothing happier than achieving your goal. I'm nt gonna elaborate on everything, if you wanna know what I'd been doing just check out my Facebook, hahaha. Anyway it's one of the times that I truly feel alive, and by alive I mean I am really grateful for everything, everybody around me and live life to the fullest everyday. By some point in november I was really emo and moody, and I felt that life really sucked. Literally. and I felt that my life was going down....but then everything changed and I was glad for it. 

So, don't look down on yourself, a human has infinite possibilities, if you truly believe in yourself, and add up your hard work and determination, you'll see the wonderful gifts of life. It's been a long time that I had struggled. 2011 was not a good year for me. I thought that everything was over. But then I'm Sze Han. I wouldn't go down so easily. I have a bunch of truly caring friends and sometimes I almost cried because I realized I still have so many good friends who are willing to share my sorrow and share my burden. From now on, I'll never be looking back, I'll try to cherish my life and everything around me. Thanks everybody for being by my side all those days, I can't find words to describe my gratitude for you =)





Anyway, Sze Han will rock on again =D I hope so ><