After the storm

It's been awhile....again =.= the truth is I actually don't feel like writing anything here, but alright now Im coming home. Home is always different, no matter how you crave and long for the glamour and grace out there. Home is the warmest place on earth, for me =) some may want to voice their thoughts, but mostly you find peace at home.

Ok enough of the BS... but how am I gonna start this? It's been so long and the time frame passed by quite strangely these days and of course, my memory as usual ditched me of most of the things most of the time, so it's no surprise I can't keep track of everything. Some of those will be dropped somewhere in my past :( Okayyss, life these days had those usual ups and downs and at least Im feeling better from the previous period and slowly recovering.... I think. There's no point looking back except to bask in the touching feelings of nice memories again, so everybody moves on. Erm.... my results dropped....quite a bit. 20. Sounds nice and cool, right? right in the middle. fair and square. Actually my mum threatened to cut off my internet connection. But I had promised to fare better next time. I can do it :) LOL

The homeworks had been increasing like never before, but we still got to deal with it. Haizs, I don't like form 4 homeworks....I had really no idea how I can did it the years before. I had lost it. Some of it. I think I'll find another way somehow. God Bless me >< as to other things....well, I don't think there's anything to say. Days went by typically and the weather was real hot. I mean, super ultra  HOT == walking in the sun for 2 minutes you'll look like you just come up from a swimming pool. Literally. 

Something happened after the time Im healed, well partly healed I think. It's something indescribable, a kind of feeling which will kinda makes you cry. From the way she told me, this is the picture in my mind. Strangely, I cant feel any strong and intense emotions.... had I also lost this? NOoooooo way, I gonna find it back. Maybe It's the way I deal things, maybe it's the fact that my heart cant keep up with the gap growing into a massive hole over the years.... maybe it's a tad too far?  

All I can hope for is faith and trust, which I believe will never fail us :) Fingers crossed  X <3

28 + 10

28 days passed by since I left here.
For once, it's strange to say but I felt that love was lost. not even a trace was left.
And so, began the 28 days, when life had never been so depressed and turbulent.
from the peak I dropped straight into the hole, it happened too fast I can barely see and comprehend anything. I just knew I'm freefalling to a place called nowhere, freefalling to the place where I'm somehow fated to be there.
You might still think that I'm still the same throughout the days, but the truth is I'm falling apart.
Behind those laughters and lame jokes, a thousand scars and wounds were brimming red across my heart, a million pieces of memories sticking through my wall. I smiled, at least I tried to, but it's twisted and forced. It couldn't hide the fury and breaking down that's going on inside me.
For once, it's so broken and so bleak that I almost fell into the abyss like so many others. Broken, as I couldn't seek salvation; bleak, as I couldn't see the light. Cloudy and stormy days raged inside me like there's no ending to it.
And so, the 28 days dragged on, attempting to kill everything.

And then, you came into my life. At the exact right time.
You've always been there for all this while, but my cravings and longings had blinded and misted my sight, and all I saw was just my plain own twisted perception, I couldn't see you.
But I'm glad you did come. Just like the way thing was, it's only different because you pulled out that twist in me, and so once again I can see hope. The sun had never been so bright.

Thanks so much <3  I'm really indebt to you. Without you, I can't imagine where this will lead me to.
you stopped my descend into darkness and pulled me back to the surface of the water, and as I gasped and coughed, I started to realize that the sky, why had I never been able to notice that it's so beatiful? Love's beautiful.....


And so my story continues.



Actually, it's 38 days. the days I didn't come this place.
But for the latter 10 days, it's been rainbow and sunshine. I'm still who I was, it's just that something about me was different, not the same anymore from the 29th day. It's the beginning of the end, and whether it's a horrible and murky end or one basked in the glory of love, it's up to the sequel of my story. And about how I'm gonna continue this story, I'll find out myself.