![a.dazzling.twilight.dream [橘梦物语]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G-mchp-Xu60/UMnX2glcivI/AAAAAAAAAk8/Wv7RiltLlwo/s1600/270609_399125970142494_476525727_n.jpg)
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Field of Tears
Currently at langkawi surprisingly the homestay place has nice wi-fi service :)
It's really tiring at outside, this is the ending of the 2nd day and we just tried island hopping and shopping and eating nice food only~ but already felt tired. Tomorrow going for skywalk and cable car and we're moving our staying place, that is to a nice high-class hotel~ heard that the place has jacuzzi and spa etc really looking forward to it~ Langkawi fell short of my expectations for now but the nature always captivate me. But I still felt tired though...at night we just chill at the staying place, nothing more, because everybody was tired. Luckily I brought the lappy, haha..but I'm really tired.
Not just physically...
Friend hope you heal soon :( although I know..
It's really tiring at outside, this is the ending of the 2nd day and we just tried island hopping and shopping and eating nice food only~ but already felt tired. Tomorrow going for skywalk and cable car and we're moving our staying place, that is to a nice high-class hotel~ heard that the place has jacuzzi and spa etc really looking forward to it~ Langkawi fell short of my expectations for now but the nature always captivate me. But I still felt tired though...at night we just chill at the staying place, nothing more, because everybody was tired. Luckily I brought the lappy, haha..but I'm really tired.
Not just physically...
Friend hope you heal soon :( although I know..
Thursday, December 13, 2012
A Thousand Years
It's .......been a while.
Wow, now that I try to recall, so many things had happened, it made me feel dizzy just to think about them...
Where should I start? It's been a journey full of feelings, touching moments, pure happiness, heartbreak, ecstasy, etc...
Now that I tried to think about what I've done for my SPM, I realized that I may have overcome the demon bugging me deep down.. It was totally not perfect, full of flaws and imperfections, full of last-minute adrenaline, full of subtle regrets and sadness...but whatever the results at the end, for now, every minute of my life, I finally have the feeling I once craved so badly for, that is the sense of freedom without major regrets :) Of course, there were still regrets, here and there, but I think I have learnt to let go...It's useless to think about it anymore no matter how bad everything may turn out to be. I need to have faith, too. I don't dare to think of any scenarios for now, I just hope I won't let my friends, my parents, and myself down again.
Actually it's a peculiar, mixed feeling, to be saying goodbye finally, after all those years. I must admit that through all the things that were thrown in my way and all the happenings that surrounded me, I have learned a great deal, and for some reason I can't help but feel hopeful everyday. It's like I am back to the old me, yet at the same time something is different, something has changed inside me. But on the other hand again, I am still happy and sure that my deepest core is still intact, and all the true and indescribable feelings and values are still there. For me, that's what makes me , well, ME. It's the most important thing I care about myself, personally.
Someday, we may need to say goodbye to everything. Thinking back the days, I can't be happier. I am glad that those precious moments spent with friends and family, although they're gone, like the rain, but the memories we created I believe, will last, just like the rainbow. Some may be temporary, but I have faith that all those precious to me, will be safely kept in my heart, and continue to make myself go forward. But reality is still reality, I am really sad at the fact that I can't see my friends so often anymore...these days I really went out and had so much fun with friends, with classmates, with old friends...I missed the times we spent together in Melaka, the night we all poured out our hearts' contents, the crazy time we had at the water park; I missed the times we went to watch movies in Midvalley, and reconnect and reassure ourselves that this is not the end; But for all the more reason, I miss you.
I really do.
I think back to the days when I can still see your face everyday, the days when I can still be by your side, with silent accompaniment, or when you told me your problems and stories. I really, really, wish that time can turn back, that you will be by my side again...although this is just my naive wishful thinking. I didn't have regrets over what I had done, but the pain is still so real, so searing....that makes every feeling all the more real.
This is surely not the end, and till the day we meet again, and again, and again, I'll promise myself to be a better person. I am not sure whether I can do it, as my past told me that I am bound to fail again and again, but you alone make me believe I can.
[The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...
...beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow]
#AThousandYearsPart2
Wow, now that I try to recall, so many things had happened, it made me feel dizzy just to think about them...
Where should I start? It's been a journey full of feelings, touching moments, pure happiness, heartbreak, ecstasy, etc...
Now that I tried to think about what I've done for my SPM, I realized that I may have overcome the demon bugging me deep down.. It was totally not perfect, full of flaws and imperfections, full of last-minute adrenaline, full of subtle regrets and sadness...but whatever the results at the end, for now, every minute of my life, I finally have the feeling I once craved so badly for, that is the sense of freedom without major regrets :) Of course, there were still regrets, here and there, but I think I have learnt to let go...It's useless to think about it anymore no matter how bad everything may turn out to be. I need to have faith, too. I don't dare to think of any scenarios for now, I just hope I won't let my friends, my parents, and myself down again.
Actually it's a peculiar, mixed feeling, to be saying goodbye finally, after all those years. I must admit that through all the things that were thrown in my way and all the happenings that surrounded me, I have learned a great deal, and for some reason I can't help but feel hopeful everyday. It's like I am back to the old me, yet at the same time something is different, something has changed inside me. But on the other hand again, I am still happy and sure that my deepest core is still intact, and all the true and indescribable feelings and values are still there. For me, that's what makes me , well, ME. It's the most important thing I care about myself, personally.
Someday, we may need to say goodbye to everything. Thinking back the days, I can't be happier. I am glad that those precious moments spent with friends and family, although they're gone, like the rain, but the memories we created I believe, will last, just like the rainbow. Some may be temporary, but I have faith that all those precious to me, will be safely kept in my heart, and continue to make myself go forward. But reality is still reality, I am really sad at the fact that I can't see my friends so often anymore...these days I really went out and had so much fun with friends, with classmates, with old friends...I missed the times we spent together in Melaka, the night we all poured out our hearts' contents, the crazy time we had at the water park; I missed the times we went to watch movies in Midvalley, and reconnect and reassure ourselves that this is not the end; But for all the more reason, I miss you.
I really do.
I think back to the days when I can still see your face everyday, the days when I can still be by your side, with silent accompaniment, or when you told me your problems and stories. I really, really, wish that time can turn back, that you will be by my side again...although this is just my naive wishful thinking. I didn't have regrets over what I had done, but the pain is still so real, so searing....that makes every feeling all the more real.
This is surely not the end, and till the day we meet again, and again, and again, I'll promise myself to be a better person. I am not sure whether I can do it, as my past told me that I am bound to fail again and again, but you alone make me believe I can.
[The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath
Right from the start
I knew that I'd found a home for my heart...
...beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow]
#AThousandYearsPart2
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
IBITSU
It's raining now.....
It's in the middle of exams, as usual the sense of togetherness that can only be felt during this kind of times are awesome, we seem to be more 'equal' in these times....haha. Just a feeling though, nothing else.....
Still finding hard to effectively battle procrastination....apparently human tendency to put off something until there's pressure that pushes us to complete a task is something like a norm...but effective people can overcome procrastination though.... I'm just too lazy...but I must hold on. Can't give up now after all the resolution and determination == temptation is something scary too..... people often make mistakes because of failure to resisit...
Thinking about life after trials, already have some plans in mind....of course I'll continue to study and complete everything that I can't manage to complete during trials. Hope it will be fruitful, had wasted too much idle hours these days...but I'm happy though :D Being too comfortable isn't necessary a good thing... we become lazy because of that. Missing the good old times..... haha
Love G-Dragon's new song THAT XX....totally awesome. Talented guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j57IzkTFnT8
and this too. Totally loooove ittttt :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOnSLuLNJEQ
It's in the middle of exams, as usual the sense of togetherness that can only be felt during this kind of times are awesome, we seem to be more 'equal' in these times....haha. Just a feeling though, nothing else.....
Still finding hard to effectively battle procrastination....apparently human tendency to put off something until there's pressure that pushes us to complete a task is something like a norm...but effective people can overcome procrastination though.... I'm just too lazy...but I must hold on. Can't give up now after all the resolution and determination == temptation is something scary too..... people often make mistakes because of failure to resisit...
Thinking about life after trials, already have some plans in mind....of course I'll continue to study and complete everything that I can't manage to complete during trials. Hope it will be fruitful, had wasted too much idle hours these days...but I'm happy though :D Being too comfortable isn't necessary a good thing... we become lazy because of that. Missing the good old times..... haha
Love G-Dragon's new song THAT XX....totally awesome. Talented guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j57IzkTFnT8
and this too. Totally loooove ittttt :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOnSLuLNJEQ
Thursday, August 16, 2012
LOVE SONG
Love Song - Big Bang (English Meaning)
[TOP]
One woman is becoming disaster
Even though a man is still singing
I’m tearing up at the thought of break up
[DAESUNG]
I can’t touch you, I know yeah eh
I’m falling, catch me (hello)
[GD]
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song.. x2
[TAEYANG]
I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you
[SEUNGRI]
I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo
[GD]
I’m scared, this world is meaningless
Take me to where you are, a place with the moon and stars
[DAESUNG]
We were so beautiful, you know
You taught me what love was, hello
[TAEYANG]
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
[GD]
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
I hate this love song… I hate this love song..
[TAEYANG]
I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you
[GD]
I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo
[TOP]
The warm rays of the sun are of another world
The field of reeds are dancing all alone
I remain paused at a green hill, holding a conversation I’ve yet to finish with her
The sky is of an expressionless face that holds no answers
You’re probably hiding behind the clouds, you’re probably a star
[GD]
I close my eyes and feel your breath, I dream of you
A smile spreads across my lips, you’re breathing with me now
Time, please stop, don’t divide her and I
Wind, stop blowing, this is my last letter to you
[TAEYANG]
I hate this love song, I’ll never sing it again
So I can stop thinking of you, so I can finally forget you
[SEUNGRI]
I hate this love song, I’m going to sing it with a smile
In order to cure your loneliness, I’m going to you now
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-hoo
[TAEYANG]
Oh I hate this love song.. 3x
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Hearts
Just watched Badminton Olympic Final..... though brokenhearted but our hearts will still go on with you Datuk Lee :) It was really really close....that shattered and sad look on his face after the match, I guessed it saddened the whole nation. Just like Szu Hui said, he is Malaysia's number 1 in our hearts :D
This was one of the few moments I am actually proud to be a Malyasian. The sport and LCW alone bring the whole country together...regardless of ethnicity and color. Really wish that the same thing happens in elsewhere. Cant stand the protruding racism in Malaysia society.
This was one of the few moments I am actually proud to be a Malyasian. The sport and LCW alone bring the whole country together...regardless of ethnicity and color. Really wish that the same thing happens in elsewhere. Cant stand the protruding racism in Malaysia society.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
INTUITION
Somehow. Someday. Im gonna repay all the debts in my own way, trying my best to express the gratitude to those who have helped me before. Although I can't say Im perfect now, but I do feel stronger in heart...although sometimes I of course, will have doubts. about friendship. about future. about those that are important. We are human afterall. But somehow I will continue to hold on....there's no reason for me to back off, and Im glad I won't find excuses and reasons to run away from things anymore :D Hell, everytime I think of the things I screwed up before, the remorse and regret will flood over me , overwhelm me, as it is obvious to me now that I have the ability to solve them... it is just that my heart was not right before.
Im still trying the very best to appreciate things. well, let's see things/people that make me happy recently:
1 Band AGM..and the presents X))
2 Tan Pei Qin ^O^
3 My gang/friends...spending time with them makes me forget sorrow and realize life is not meaningless
4 The Dark Knight Rises ..This movie ROCKSSSS TOTALLY FTW!! love Christopher Nolan...the human brain is infinitely marvelous. The scenes of INCEPTION are still fresh in mind even now.
5 B.A.P and CNBlue: everybody knows that Im not kpop fan but some of the bands are awesome :)
6 The Gazette DIVISION album: ohyea babe finally a new album! but unfortunately no full songs available for download yet.... :(
7 playing basketball: BASKETBALL IS ABOUT SOUL, its not only a sport XD
8 improvement in piano. lets say that Im still unsatisfied with my skills and all those...but next wednesday is piano exam, have to try my best><
9 Seeing those precious and friends around you happy, gives me the most happiness =D
LIFE. You are not born to please somebody else. Just be yourself =D I love this quote so much...but for me personally, if those are the people I cherish, to do something to make them happy...whatever I do is worth it, even though after some time it will maybe be forgotten or it's just temporary. But Im really happy, just because they are happy simply, even if its just simple things... I dont know it is good or not X)
But, just because I feel things the way it is now, doesnt mean that all the wrong I've done is forgivable. I used to ignore tiny little things which could had made a huge difference, I used to go back on my promise which I super regret it even now, I used to hurt those people who had always supported me..... and even though you stay in the band, I know how you really feel.... so sorry that I can't really help.. Of course, I wish for you to stay in band, dearly, because I acknowledge your ability and you have been really helpful, and about the Tshirt things....Im still damn regret now. On the other hand, I know you want to have your own time....do you know? you are one of the few people I admire truly...not because of your achievements but your personality... maybe you didnt realize it, but to think differently and do things with such unique way, those are the things that I can learn. I really have thought you wont stay, but apparently they didnt give you a choice...so sorry I cant help you in this, and all I can say for now is that all the best in whatever you are doing....and really sorry for all the trouble I've caused. Just, stay true and ganbattee :) I'll be here always
Im still trying the very best to appreciate things. well, let's see things/people that make me happy recently:
1 Band AGM..and the presents X))
2 Tan Pei Qin ^O^
3 My gang/friends...spending time with them makes me forget sorrow and realize life is not meaningless
4 The Dark Knight Rises ..This movie ROCKSSSS TOTALLY FTW!! love Christopher Nolan...the human brain is infinitely marvelous. The scenes of INCEPTION are still fresh in mind even now.
5 B.A.P and CNBlue: everybody knows that Im not kpop fan but some of the bands are awesome :)
6 The Gazette DIVISION album: ohyea babe finally a new album! but unfortunately no full songs available for download yet.... :(
7 playing basketball: BASKETBALL IS ABOUT SOUL, its not only a sport XD
8 improvement in piano. lets say that Im still unsatisfied with my skills and all those...but next wednesday is piano exam, have to try my best><
9 Seeing those precious and friends around you happy, gives me the most happiness =D
LIFE. You are not born to please somebody else. Just be yourself =D I love this quote so much...but for me personally, if those are the people I cherish, to do something to make them happy...whatever I do is worth it, even though after some time it will maybe be forgotten or it's just temporary. But Im really happy, just because they are happy simply, even if its just simple things... I dont know it is good or not X)
But, just because I feel things the way it is now, doesnt mean that all the wrong I've done is forgivable. I used to ignore tiny little things which could had made a huge difference, I used to go back on my promise which I super regret it even now, I used to hurt those people who had always supported me..... and even though you stay in the band, I know how you really feel.... so sorry that I can't really help.. Of course, I wish for you to stay in band, dearly, because I acknowledge your ability and you have been really helpful, and about the Tshirt things....Im still damn regret now. On the other hand, I know you want to have your own time....do you know? you are one of the few people I admire truly...not because of your achievements but your personality... maybe you didnt realize it, but to think differently and do things with such unique way, those are the things that I can learn. I really have thought you wont stay, but apparently they didnt give you a choice...so sorry I cant help you in this, and all I can say for now is that all the best in whatever you are doing....and really sorry for all the trouble I've caused. Just, stay true and ganbattee :) I'll be here always
Friday, July 27, 2012
Goodbye
I choose not to say much.....there's too much to talk about.
What I can be sure of is that from now on I cannot leave any regrets anymore.
And I still want to thank everybody that has helped me through everything....at least I felt like things have finally changed.
I used to dream about the day to arrive, but without me noticing it's already happening...
Time really flies.
The concert, well, I won't say about it here, I just hope you all enjoy this performance :)
I just want to try my best to be sincere to everybody, to be happy, to try to help everybody when it's in my power, and to protect those precious things that I wish to protect.
Fighting everybody!
What I can be sure of is that from now on I cannot leave any regrets anymore.
And I still want to thank everybody that has helped me through everything....at least I felt like things have finally changed.
I used to dream about the day to arrive, but without me noticing it's already happening...
Time really flies.
The concert, well, I won't say about it here, I just hope you all enjoy this performance :)
I just want to try my best to be sincere to everybody, to be happy, to try to help everybody when it's in my power, and to protect those precious things that I wish to protect.
Fighting everybody!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Faint
Yesterday was a really bad day, old feelings came pouring in again, and I've done the most stupidest things again. It's really going well for me the day before, but I guess I can't be saved anymore.. Coach gave me the final verdict, and well all I could do was to accept. I have no complaints, as in the end everything really doesn't seem to matter. Really sorry. I'm not a worthy leader, in fact, I'm not supposed to be called a leader. But at least now I finally really really know what's wrong with me. If you don't trust me anymore, it's fine.It's really something I have to swallow down, personally. It's painful, but strangely I felt a sense of revelation and relief actually. Maybe it's for something better in the future. At least I know well in my heart that I finally won't avoid things anymore, won't give up so easily anymore. All the wrong I've done, how I wished I could erase it, all of them, but time doesn't turn back, and the damage had been done. Really sorry, in the end maybe I didn't really love you all the way I thought I would, but like I said before, I won't look back. All the pain and distress, I will take it all in my stride. I had a chat with dad yesterday night, he really gave me the best advices. He's really the one guiding light in my life, and I can't tell how grateful I am, and it makes me feel like shit thinking of all the bad things and troubles I'd caused him.
I really thought things will finally get better for me, but apparently it's not enough. Maybe I'm just living in my own illusions....I still couldn't fight the reality well. But really, I won't give up anymore. Thinking of the days when I'm so down and so insecure, I actually feel happy nowadays. You people probably hate me like a thousand fold, but my journey will still continue... and I hope when the curtains do fall, it's not a sad ending.
sincerely. Those who still trust me, no matter as a friend or any other way, thank you. Well I'm not gonna dwell on this anymore...while people are facing bigger adversity I will feel my situation is just really not that important anymore.
sincerely. Those who still trust me, no matter as a friend or any other way, thank you. Well I'm not gonna dwell on this anymore...while people are facing bigger adversity I will feel my situation is just really not that important anymore.
Blue skies will still be ahead. I must believe.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Higher than Heaven
It's been a while again. Say hello to July.
anyway I just came here to write somthing, anything will do.
somehow I wanted to record the days and somehow I don't feel like forgetting these days.
人,很多时候,是孤独的吧. 我很相信这一句.
就发觉最近都很喜欢一个人 一个人想想人生问题
一个人看风景 一个人做自己喜欢的东西
一个人并没有什么不好
而最近似乎开始熟悉起从前那个自己了
我很贱 得到的东西不会珍惜
失去了才后悔 做的事情都不好 可能以前的错误已经造成永久伤害
就算现在想挽回都很困难了 在人眼中我真的很垃圾
不过算了 我不会再回头 就算现在还没办法去完全办到
我不会放弃的 我已经找到继续生活的动力
就算有时觉得活着没意义
朋友说你打从一开始就对我没感觉 心是会沉了一下
不过我不会 逗留在那里 至少我已经做了交代 心不会那么沉了
你还是会是特别的女孩
只要想到你 都会有种希望 直到有一天这份感觉不一样了
我想那时候是我前进的时候了
不过是我没主动行动 所以不会去怪罪谁
因为真的那样的我还不行
还有另一个你 打从什么时候开始就很喜欢跟你相处的感觉
虽然只是淡淡的谈话 不过想到你 我就会想起从前的自己
看到你 每天都会有了去上学的理由 和给我一种莫名的希望
好喜欢你认真读书的模样 我想到的只有'温柔'这个形容词
还有你 或许变的真的是我吧 不过我确实发觉你真的有点不像我认识的你了
你说是我没了解你 我想可能是吧
不过我都一直在你身边 我没能力时我承认我真的没怎么关心你
作为朋友 对不起了
从小学到现在 你都是我特别的朋友
乐队的同伴 可是我发觉你这个好朋友
给我的感觉不一样了 老实说 有点不是很喜欢你的性格了
不过我依然会支持你 有什么我一定帮你 :)
还有你 真的希望你别整天因为一个人就emo
我明白你的感受 可是有时很想打你
想一下身边你的朋友的感受好不好
我不是称职的朋友 不过能帮你我都会帮
如果有些行为冒犯了真的对不起 我也有很多自己的事要烦
希望你会释怀
最近都很爱看日剧
真的很喜欢那种感觉
还有很多想看的电影 啊啊啊啊啊啊
还有很快就要预考了 唉
永远都会爱海贼王<3
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Drawing Days
It's been awhile.
好了,其实我不是很想打英语.你们总说我英文好,不过事实是我希望我不再听到这样的东西了.我离我希望的地方 还很远很远 没法想象 我在这可还没对得起自己呢
其实我也没有什么特定想说的话 只是最近觉得时间变得很奇怪
不 应该说这状态维持很久了 我的世界也变得很奇怪
度过这每一天 感觉都不再真实 很多感觉都麻木了
只是最近比较忙乐队的公演 希望这次 真的可以顺利
为我祈祷 ><
总是在想一些无意义的事物 明知道想了都不会改变什么
总是在想一些无意义的事物 明知道想了都不会改变什么
可就是会不断去想
还有就是最近又开始不负责任了 麻烦了级任 真的对不起了
杨老师 你真的是个好老师 其实我喜欢你教课和与同学们互动事
我也还没实现对你答应过的事 现在努力尝试当中
很谢谢你的教诲 :))有能力的话会报答你的
还有就是慢慢找回生活的步伐 开始有一点以前那个自己的踪迹了
可我还是那么不争气 所以很多东西还是要努力
现在至少明白了某些事情 也不会像以前那么执著了
然后很谢谢这些日子对我好的人 和让我领悟,从错误中醒来的人
就算对自己曾做过的事还是耿耿于怀 心还是好痛
可是至少我一定要学会不要逃避
朋友们的陪伴 哪怕只是小事 如今的我会为这些事开心
真心的人 诚意的人
很仰慕这样的人.
还有其实我还是没有勇气向你交代清楚
还有最近这些日子有你的陪伴 会珍惜
是你让我知道简单的事 其实就是幸福的事
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
原本以为不会有大事的
可是其实我应该知道我的行动会有什么结果
我那么做 看起来好像在找渣
甚至根本就是不应该发生的
那么愚蠢至极的东西
我就是做出来了
我没资格说活
甚至很想就那样去死
因为我的行动 为她闯出了那么大的祸
我太看轻事情了
是我太不负责任了
太过自以为是了
连这种事都做了出来
我太看轻事情了
是我太不负责任了
太过自以为是了
连这种事都做了出来
我早该知道的
我这个人 人格真的有问题了
自己丢了自己的尊严
自己丢了自己的尊严
是我自己该得的 也知道她绝对恨死我了
说自己很失败 也是一点屁用都没有
说自己很失败 也是一点屁用都没有
说对不起 却什么也改变不了
现在真的很难面对她 很内疚很惭愧 到很想死
我或许不应该做人
其实很多东西已经拖了很久
我能做的,只能不要再搞砸了
然后想办法面对生活
觉得很没用
我好没用
看到了别来安慰我 也别来问我什么
我只想找个地方 写下
然后 做些什么
说了再多是没用的
说了再多是没用的
生活 不继续还能怎样
Friday, May 18, 2012
BUTTERFLY
One week left until mid-years over. Currently just want to bask in every moment and try to forget all the painful mistakes and past. I've made this promise to myself even though I had broken so many promises. I just nid to try all over again. Can't let those who's beside me down anymore. Try hard to stay true to myself and don't lose identity easily. It's not gonna be easy, I just hope I can be forgiven. No time for me to waste anymore =)
Do you know Butterfly is a symbol of hope? =)
Do you know Butterfly is a symbol of hope? =)
Friday, May 11, 2012
Live to Rise
It's exam days and all I could say is that it's been really tiring so stay strong people and drink more coffee ! =D I've been battling my guilt, questioning my purpose and reading the books at the same time, so its quite a suffering experience... I'm all to blame, and sometimes regretting something you think you shouldn't have done but done it anyway is a pretty funny thing...It eats away at your core. Scary yet the only thing you can do is to refrain from doing it again ...and starting from today everyday is very crucial and important..my happiness depends on whether I can accomplish my tasks on time or not. It sucks actually, thinking of all the days you've been wasting...please dear, let me have the strength and heart to cherish simple things in life.
Today (Friday) is quite an unusual day for me. Actually, I'm thinking of skipping my physics and biology paper 2 exams today cuz I can't manage to study it in time, and I feel so blessed and lucky that I didn't do just that. During exam the same old question pops into my head again, and I feel like complete idiot that I didn't cherish all the time I got to study in the past....and after school it made me realize how I've missed the old times. I went to have lunch at behind pasar that awesome stall which is our usual gathering place after school if we have tuition or whatever in the afternoon with classmates moon wei jingni yoonping and ah qian and it's been awhile since I visited the stall. The food was awesome as always and the scene of us eating and chatting together made me oh-so-misseeeedddd the time in Form 4 when I had those bunch of wonderful memories with my classmates.T.T Kinda feel old already, and I better start appreciating things cuz if I don't, I'll leave Yu Hua with tonnes of regrets. Anyway things get kinda better than usual today and I hope the feeling is not just temporary. I need the strength from memories to carry on.
Live to Rise is a song by rock band soundgarden for The Avengers Movie. Check it out!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
COMATOSE
Sorry but maybe I can't walk with all of you til the end together.
There's some things I need to settle before I can have my smiles again.
There's some things I need to settle before I can have my smiles again.
So, sorry if I had annoyed you all these while and thanks so much if you have done something to cheer me up.
Even though it's a small thing.
But I don't have time to enjoy the happiness now.
It won't be soon before long....Let me sink into Oblivion for a while.
But I don't have time to enjoy the happiness now.
It won't be soon before long....Let me sink into Oblivion for a while.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Hiatus
It's been 4 months already since i last came here. Even now I stil don't really understand what happen all these days and stil is awestruck by how tremendously things have changed. So many things happened during this period....and I'm not gonna say much here because I myself am well aware that I haven't got the right and time to say anything yet. Everything is still in the works, and I'm seriously running out of time. I'm guilt-driven and yet don't know how to appreciate everything precious around me, causing destruction everywhere I went. Now I do really understand why people always wish time could turn back....but well, please give me strength to face the reality.
I've broken promises, failed myself and let everybody down. Let's stop for now, let me come here when the time is right again. Please bless me again and give me strength to redeem myself again....for the last time. I haven't got over myself afterall...thanks for everyone that's still by my side even for now.
And it seems like I had lost my past, well, some part of it actually....and things do really get messy sometimes, and I couldn't recall precious moments anymore. Well, hope things would turn around. There's always rainbow beyond the sky....can I reach for it, again?
I've broken promises, failed myself and let everybody down. Let's stop for now, let me come here when the time is right again. Please bless me again and give me strength to redeem myself again....for the last time. I haven't got over myself afterall...thanks for everyone that's still by my side even for now.
And it seems like I had lost my past, well, some part of it actually....and things do really get messy sometimes, and I couldn't recall precious moments anymore. Well, hope things would turn around. There's always rainbow beyond the sky....can I reach for it, again?
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