原本以为不会有大事的

可是其实我应该知道我的行动会有什么结果

我那么做    看起来好像在找渣

甚至根本就是不应该发生的

那么愚蠢至极的东西

我就是做出来了

我没资格说活

甚至很想就那样去死

因为我的行动     为她闯出了那么大的祸
我太看轻事情了
是我太不负责任了
太过自以为是了
连这种事都做了出来

 
我早该知道的

我这个人   人格真的有问题了
自己丢了自己的尊严   

是我自己该得的  也知道她绝对恨死我了
说自己很失败    也是一点屁用都没有

说对不起    却什么也改变不了     

现在真的很难面对她     很内疚很惭愧 到很想死

我或许不应该做人

其实很多东西已经拖了很久

我能做的,只能不要再搞砸了

然后想办法面对生活

觉得很没用

我好没用

看到了别来安慰我 也别来问我什么

我只想找个地方    写下

然后  做些什么
说了再多是没用的

生活   不继续还能怎样

BUTTERFLY

One week left until mid-years over. Currently just want to bask in every moment and try to forget all the painful mistakes and past. I've made this promise to myself even though I had broken so many promises. I just nid to try all over again. Can't let those who's beside me down anymore. Try hard to stay true to myself and don't lose identity easily. It's not gonna be easy, I just hope I can be forgiven. No time for me to waste anymore =)

Do you know Butterfly is a symbol of hope? =)

Live to Rise

It's exam days and all I could say is that it's been really tiring so stay strong people and drink more coffee ! =D I've been battling my guilt, questioning my purpose and reading the books at the same time, so its quite a suffering experience... I'm all to blame, and sometimes regretting something you think you shouldn't have done but done it anyway is a pretty funny thing...It eats away at your core. Scary yet the only thing you can do is to refrain from doing it again ...and starting from today everyday is very crucial and important..my happiness depends on whether I can accomplish my tasks on time or not. It sucks actually, thinking of all the days you've been wasting...please dear, let me have the strength and heart to cherish simple things in life.

Haha XD here it is kuliansi pic XD

Today (Friday) is quite an unusual day for me. Actually, I'm thinking of skipping my physics and biology paper 2 exams today cuz I can't manage to study it in time, and I feel so blessed and lucky that I didn't do just that. During exam the same old question pops into my head again, and I feel like complete idiot that I didn't cherish all the time I got to study in the past....and after school it made me realize how I've missed the old times. I went to have lunch at behind pasar that awesome stall which is our usual gathering place after school if we have tuition or whatever in the afternoon with classmates moon wei jingni yoonping and ah qian and it's been awhile since I visited the stall. The food was awesome as always and the scene of us eating and chatting together made me oh-so-misseeeedddd the time in Form 4 when I had those bunch of wonderful memories with my classmates.T.T Kinda feel old already, and I better start appreciating things cuz if I don't, I'll leave Yu Hua with tonnes of regrets. Anyway things get kinda better than usual today and I hope the feeling is not just temporary. I need the strength from memories to carry on.

Live to Rise is a song by rock band soundgarden for The Avengers Movie. Check it out!

雨下得太久了......什么时候才会有阳光?