My heart is dying....
I always thought that I can bear with everything.
just anything you put in my way,
no matter what I'll crush it.
That's how my mind works for the past 3 months or so.
But that'll come to a stop for now.
as I think there will be better way to deal with this.
Ya, maybe I have more personal issues
anyway that's what I thought,
It's aint right or wrong, but I must admit everything's getting the creep on me.
I feel so powerless and yet so laid- back.
I plead guilty for this sin and I hope I can bouce back, stronger this time.
First of all, in 2 weeks time all my beloved seniors will leave me
well, not technically, but they'll pause band and this 2 weeks time is my last moment with them
well, I do love them, if not showed obviously.
Even some of them, I really really really LOVE them from the bottom of my heart,
I cant even think of the days without them in the future :(
And this week not a sight of bren already starting to take its toll on me.
I wonder, how can I live on?
And then, I gt a post- apocalyptic feeling lately....
I'm nt get used to being emo or wadsoever negative feelings...
my existence doesn't allow me to do so..
I used to laugh happily before,
but I realized my smile is not so earnest, sincere anymore.
It's more like a mask to cover up everthing beneath....
So what had happened to me?
I don't really know, all I know for now is to treasure everything,
especially on the verge of crumbling and collapsing....
I hope I can get my laughter back,
Cuz life will only matter when it's "laughter", "bliss" that we're after...
God bless me!!
I know I sound really stupid but well,
I guess everything is in God's hands...
朋友...
ReplyDelete表面上我似乎离开了,
但是在内心深处...
我是打死都不会走的^^
可能我在发表会后,
就不会再有机会坐你旁边一起投诉哪首歌有多难吹,
或是在你讲废话的时候打你...
但是...
我深知道,
我永远不会忘记这一切^^
上帝永远爱你....^^
crying blissfully........ T^T
ReplyDelete