So Deep

Suddenly all thoughts and past fragments came rushing and sprawling out in tides and rise
and then everything slides backwards and my state of mind halts in this instant.
It's that time of my life when memories swallow me up completely and I have no idea how this is happening


This time ....the scenes went back to when I was still eight.
Little, innocent, stupid child XD that was the time when everything was so right
so real, and yet too faraway.... life's so harsh, don't you agree?
I vaguely remember, that's when I was dominated and owned by the mighty Dengue fever.
yes, it was mighty back then, and I was in the hospital for like, three days.
Subang medical Hospital. Never forgotten :) there's a precious part of memory there
which will be always treasured throughout my sucked life....


the three days. the single-bed with white and cloud blue blanket and pillow.
the small, traditional television set. the always shadowy and greyish atmosphere.
the nice sweet lenglui nurse :) and the pain everytime there's an injection =.=
Those three days were my first major hospitalization, if you would call it "major", lol
and I still remembered how I cried all night because I cant see daddy and mummy...haha
and how the nice nurse consoled and accompanied me throughout the cold nights.
Most important of all, I knew the song" Never had a Dream Come True"
that's probably the most jubilant and exhilarating moment of my life, thinking of defining myself
with inspiration and awes. But it was back then, how should I know that the moment will be the thrust,
the energy and power for me to seek hope?
Maybe you would think I'm weird, but this is just me, songs affected me deeply, even by now.
the souls and feelings and thoughts of a song can be conveyed effectively without help, 
and I really love that part of me. Seriously. One of the rare parts of me that I can really 'like' =.=
Maybe it's common to many people, and you would think "that's just simply normal, what a total crap"
But well, I cant doubt anything, and this would just be the reason why I'm where I'm now.


It's so deep, so mesmerizing...