Silly God Disco

Hoo~ hell yeah!! It's november already...in a blink of ultra velocity most of Form 4 had went by and it didn't really register in my mind and state of conscience. I mean, life's really vague for the 10 months before and I am not really happy, somehow~I missed my life in the past, but what can I do, it's too much for me to complain, since I had literally achieved what I had set out for this year and became close with some friends to a whole new level. Well, it can't be a bed of roses, I lost fragments of things along the way too. I miss some part of me that I realized I had lost it nowadays... is it bad or blessing in disguise? Most of the things changed dramatically and I had time to think through everything, and it's been annoying being pecked at by involuntary thoughts randomly any time of the day. Through time, people change and while some people walk into your life some will walk out too, and it's mixed feelings as everything is still not clear for where are these all are heading. This is the year of rehab and thinking, through the days I had some principles instilled in me and I hope I can be the person I hope to be =) well, most of my time these days were spent sleeping and listening to The Gazette and setting goals for my band...things are not looking so good for now but I'm trying to steer it towards the better. Oh wait, what did I said 'hell yeah' for already...nevermind, I guess I just needed this personal space and spill things out...I hope I can go well with my revolution and dream programmes, be it personally or organizationally. Right, today was the Chemistry papers, and I fuxked both paper 1 and 2 up literally, thanks to......everything. Yeah. Haha, Im not gonna linger on it, I'll take it as ANOTHER DIP INTO THE DEPTH FOR A MORE DRAMATIC RISE IN REPUTATION. haha, why did I even bother to caps that sentence, I have no idea...anyways, my rep certainly are damaged in all ways and I'm still figuring a way to pull it back, together with everything.

I guess you can't have everything at the same time, huh? Life's damn unfair, hahaha. 

Need for making a change. =D

I like this : The difference between a dream and a goal is a PLAN.  

but the problem is I always feel lazy and falied to plan. that's something I'm trying to change lately. Haha.

Anyway ciaos, 2 more days to go for THE BEGINNING OF BRAND NEW WORLD. Actually that means the end of final exam =D haha, can't wait anymore.

不知不觉,原来等待你已经变成一种习惯.

Chizuru

my left ear is getting muted day by day.


Maybe, it's better for me to shut myself out from the world?


It happened yesterday morning, and I had no idea what caused it.


Before i become deaf, can I hear the whisper of angels again? 


Can I hear the voices that bring me hope again?




Can I hear your voice again?

To be or not to be, THAT is the question

Feel like typing something~


Nothing's happening nowadays, life still sucks as always but you try fighting that and make the most out of everyday even though in the end you still feel everything's not enough and feel like total garbage. Nah.
haha just lamenting randomly. Let me share something. Have you ever feel like, when you're trying to chase something so badly and longing for it you'll lose something close by, bit by bit, no matter how small the margin and how unnoticeable it's happening. Just like the one and only phrase 'To be or not to be, that is the question.', you'll be amazed how often we ask ourselves the age-old question : Is it true that those that we haven't acquire are always better than those that we've owned? Is it always true that the greed and desire of petty humans knows no boundaries and the reason humans fall is because of not knowing that appreciation is the only way to get hold of happiness? We are all dreamers. very often, we set sights on things that're better and seek for greener pastures, all in the name of dream and to lead better lives. Yet, in the pursuit of something possibly unknown, we lose sight of things that we once cherished and loved. Life's fleeting and the only thing permanent is the moment when we arrive at truth and realization. Yes, we will go for our dreams with full throttle no matter the obstacle but we always feel empty. Ok now I'm not sure where this is going again, so I'll leave it right here, like a cliffhanger. Conclusion, this passage sums up my feelings recently and I'm wondering whether the path I've taken is worthwhile or not. Maybe, maybe by the time I realized it, that will be the start of another story in my life.


Life's fleeting and death's unforgiving, cherish every moment with your loved ones and be happy. =)

Untitled

Changed some songs =) 

I guess my blog now is almost deserted already, with no visits nowadays. Haha.

Nevermind, I like my blog anyhow and lookout for it cuz I think it'll be revived :)))

So cold.

一大早起床
心   很冷很冷
冷得不得了
看着窗外的天空    灰灰的
风一直一直在刮   那种超现实的感觉
让人觉得好寂寞


我  原来那么脆弱
孤独真的是我的唯一出口?


不想有一天
真的寂寞寂寞
寂寞到什么都想不起
寂寞到忘了一切
寂寞到不懂什么是寂寞




泪    在眼眶打转
天空还是很灰

Brave Heart

all this while, I've been in the long lane of memory fragments.

It's been too long, I just can't get rid of it. everything has become a part of my life, my dream.

Yes, I have a dream. A far away, colourful, dream; it's a dream that will splash iridescent rainbows into this world.

This world of grey, white, black. 

It feels so awful and sad whenever I think of the position I'm currently in.

yes, it feels like I've had all those things I once dreamt of. Long ago.

Sadism and longing, it bites my soul, so hard so painful.

But yes, I really have everything. maybe it was me, maybe it was all about my dream.

I always feel like doing something, so that I can be closer.

Closer to that day.

Now it's just passe, but it still feels damn heck awful. Maybe it's just a matter of perspective.

and how you define this world.

To me, the world, it's colourful.

too colourful that it saddens my whole being. 

I always feel that maybe there's something else that I can do, and yet I also feel hesitated.

Like maybe I've always been wrong all the while, from the beginning. 

I have a dream. I love memories.

It's a sunshine in my path, and all I need is a brave heart to bask in its glory. 

Can I believe? 

[sorry if im a bit hypocritical, but i cant lie to my feelings

i need something. to recover my world. the world once full of hope

HOPE. once I had always believed.]

寂寞是永不结束的邂逅

又发觉
人生又进入那个阶段了
好久没更新了   真的真的好久了
话说我这次选择用华语   不因为什么


感觉比较好表达   很罕见吧我用华语来抒发
英文自然我比较喜欢   但我还是很爱华语  虽然差得不知所以然
还是英文退步了硬找借口? 
我不知道
可能   绕了一大圈才发现原来又走回原点


这种事吧
我怎么了?


最近都没在做什么  假期过后发觉生活很单一格式
蓝色的淡雅色彩    隐隐晕开的紫色彩调
看了很多九八刀的书   有点挽歌的诗意
很喜欢他的文字  截然不同的感觉  虽然还是比较喜欢橘子
因为......




也没什么    就
感觉很累很累  又不懂在累个什么劲
上学    功课严重跟不上   原来我堕落了吗
回家后只想睡觉   很没营养很悲哀的生活方式
还是纯粹活在过去卡在某个地方了    久久出不来   
就算出来了也又倒带    有时候会很羡慕生活简单的人
好像一切笑笑便海阔天空    算了
要往前看啊啊 


很久没来这里了
想重新装横这里   又很懒
也很久没去朋友的部落逛逛了    找一天真的要恶补
不然我会很不安心
最近上了某个位子   下定决心要好好带上他们
至少在这全是失败的人生   干好一件事


希望如此   不然我会很......自卑? 还是内疚
说道自卑   发掘其实我很容易自卑  天天想怎么不比别人好
虽然很清楚明白不去比较好好冲刺才能成大事
可是仿佛这已是习惯   
能摆脱吗? 看着别人那么成功    突然双手也想握紧什么


梦想    幻灭?
一生追寻那曙星光的约定    能达成么?


[双手.....突然想握紧某样东西
寂寞的人害怕的不是寂寞
而是渐渐习惯了孤独
能否    让我再一次拥有?]