Sometimes.Something.Somebody...Everything?

Somtimes, when you feel like it's gonna be the end of something.

Somebody there to lend you her ears is enough for everything that will come the way.

Everything.

Life's so sucked up these days, I had no time to finish everything because...well, Im THE procrastinator and lazy-bug. and my dad's health is getting worse, the coughing won't just stop....:( Get well, strong man...I know you will. and sorry for every disobedience and tantrum I had thrown at you, sorry. and Happy father's day :)

Reminiscence Of Last November

If life is harsh and love's fragile

Why even bothering to perserve? 

If it's so easily destructible and hypocritical

what's the purpose we're even here in the first place?

The world, it's a dark place. From the vintage days of the past

when I reminisced of the neon lights, flickering almost lonely in the black of dead night

When desolate lands and abandoned Carousel is the only light and warmth

when back then we're still ignorant of this world, what is in my mind? can I still remember?

The neon lights radiate hollow and artificial glare, almost like it's alien but yet again almost like a starlight.

Im always chasing the starlight, from then till now, 

I vow to do it until the end of my life. But is it worth it anymore? when everything's blank

and hope no longer is in sight, so why is it that I will continue to chase the starlight?

The november days, the ones that's so ancient and so far away. 

Is it last november that I started to really see the starlight? 

Or is it neon lights that's been deceiving me all the time? 

So cold, so lonely.

The carousel.

Did it stop right under the moon or behind the sunset? 

I can't remember. So does everything fall apart because I no longer chase the starlight?

But somehow I can't stop the thoughts to stray, to a galaxy where I know there's somebody out there

Somebody out there for me.

It's June already.

Everytime there's a meteor that shower by against a backdrop of constellation starlights

Who, will be by my side and remind me to make a wish?

It's June already. 

I shutted all doors, clamped down all memories, cut off all lingering emotions

so that I can move on.
But apparently, Im born for something that can't be forgotten no matter what.

Starlight. 

Remembered from the november days, from a far far away time that I remembered 

something had been left behind.

Something.

Im waiting for that day

So messed up.

I've been feeling this sense of unrest for almost....half of this year.

So many times, I had felt that I had found something important, something I worth living for.

But so many times, I had ended up questioning my faith. What had I been doing? and what had I live for?

It's a Friday. woke up at 3pm and stared at my phone's wallpaper. essentially trying to recall what had happened while Im asleep. But of course, I couldn't remember it...I had been wasting my time. My head ached like the ends of hell. How am I gonna end all this? 

Need a heart that is ever-appreciating and always believing. So far, I just need a solution to my problems. Am I greedy? I feel a little bit already. No, I should never think about so much things at once...focusing on a goal is the best way for me to move forward.

Well, enough with the negativity already. The first week had been meaningful, to say the least. It's not that I had not been expecting, but I never really dreamt I could blend in and had tonnes of fun :D All this while, Im just chasing everybody's back and tracing your footsteps. So if Im really after happiness, I need to make a trail myself. Nice kem kepimpinan....had lot's of memories with my fellow friends. Thanks for everything :D Now maybe it's a little bit too late about this...but I somehow feel I need to remember this. and then there's the trip to Genting with my band....as always, it's indescribable. haha xD maybe Im exaggerating it, but I like the feeling when we're all in this together. The sentimental feeling and togetherness and craziness is priceless. So Im feeling hollow now because I missed those times so badly? Move on, man! 

Yeap, tomorrow is still there and I need to open my eyes and.....see the sunshine? so cliched xD

[ Sorry for all these while... I really wanna save it all. really. but there's something not right with me == I'll appreciate the time until the end....I really hope]

Starting point

Tomorrow going kem kepimpinan.....a bit reluctant to go lar cuz I wan read manga xD 

Well, know that there'll be many people I know going...so hope wont be too boring~~

everybody who's going enjoy yourself bah~have fun :D

and after that going Genting on thursday~the band will have gone up there on wednesday by that time..will miss one day of fun :( the kem lar! we only return in the afternoon on wednesday....haizzz. So this is gonna be one heck of a busy week...busy enjoying XD 

Bought jor 2 Giddens book~ohyea~

Reignition and Trepidation

Woosh Im here again. I promised to take care of this place.

Well the recently-concluded Mid-year exams, I just hope all the best for your results, but it's been hell for me ==

Well, Im paying the price...the results will drop hellbottom, if there's no mistake. So what am I doing? Yeap I did nothing this past year, I really regretted that, and I hope it will turn around next time. This sounds cliche and stupid right? they always say that if we're still living, we can't stop fighting for everything. But I had abandoned my faith.

So where is it? This is the answer Im gonna find...

Seems familiar? somehow....

The holiday's here and I've got lots of things lined up, will be very very busy...but I hope I had the time to finish these mangas

And then there's this awesome naruto movie....dunno when out dy, but gonna watch it! 

                                            

 Somehow I will find time amidst the chaos and fury to finish all this...had been suppressing my needs and cravings all these while =.= 

Well then, Ciaos! Gonna sleep, band practice resumes tomorrow :)

Oh Just Let me Die ==

Sorry but Im really not in the mood to study...

even if in the end I studied something,  it's because of my 'trademark' 'burning the midnight oil' and 'last minute thrust' and that really saved me.....can you imagine all the while you never listen to your sejarah in class and

then tomorrow exam strikes and you only START it like it's something new right at 10pm ? well I did it yesterday == It took away almost all my sleep and I kinda feel like Im crazy and going cuckoo...

In the end I don't really know how to describe the paper... it feels secure and at the same time the answers seemed made up mostly by me == That happened to Chemi and Bio too, and Im gonna do it again for the physics tomorrow. Well it's a hard lesson for me to learn and I guess this is the furthest I will go in this aspect. I kinda promise myself, promise my mum not to repeat it. I HOPE I can FULFIL it, because Im suck at time management and Im a super pro at procrastinating and laziness... T^T

Exam sure sucks..... even if it's myself to blame, I still hope it would be gone right now. Well, no time to lament I need to buck up on my physics... Ciaos and give me your blessings :D

Kinda look like it's been too long a interval from my last post. Well, not really into blogging nowadays but will look to revive it soon..

Godbless to Us! 4 more days and it's over~~~

Where is the...

It's a mess...up till this moment, everything's a mess.

Sometimes, I really thought Im fine, that I can continue my life the way it always was. 

Somehow, things kinda changed  and I dunno why. Times came when I would slightly think back everything that happened all this while, and realized I couldn't remember all those things I had said.  Things that I believed in, or so I thought. I feel.....weird? now. It's not like I feel bad everyday at all, maybe Im just adapting to something new, because I feel that everything's different. And it's that a good thing?

The Mid-year exam is just steps away, and I truly regretted everything I had done in the first half of 2011.
I'll redeem it, I will. From this moment on, let there be guiding light. Let there be a way for me to get out of all this mess.

[Looks like I had abandoned my belief and faith, right? nope, that won't happen. At least I hope so.Godbless and hope everything will be fine....even though I know it's the biggest lie]