Hiatus

It's been 4 months already since i last came here. Even now I stil don't really understand what happen all these days and stil is awestruck by how tremendously things have changed. So many things happened during this period....and I'm not gonna say much here because I myself am well aware that I haven't got the right and time to say anything yet. Everything is still in the works, and I'm seriously running out of time. I'm guilt-driven and yet don't know how to appreciate everything precious around me, causing destruction everywhere I went. Now I do really understand why people always wish time could turn back....but well, please give me strength to face the reality.
I've broken promises, failed myself and let everybody down. Let's stop for now, let me come here when the time is right again. Please bless me again and give me strength to redeem myself again....for the last time. I haven't got over myself afterall...thanks for everyone that's still by my side even for now.

And it seems like I had lost my past, well, some part of it actually....and things do really get messy sometimes, and I couldn't recall precious moments anymore. Well, hope things would turn around. There's always rainbow beyond the sky....can I reach for it, again?

Burial Applicant

刚刚早上其实是吓醒的

妹妹已经跟小瓜们去吉隆波了
他们是为明天乐队的欢送会准备
这次我把欢送会交给小瓜们处理了
是时候让他们也成长了
虽然我有时觉得自己很弱
这里是指处理事情方面
话说星期六在槟城   晚上发生了很多事
这里就不多说了
只能说很感谢在危机时刻还有很多人帮手
那晚   其实该说是转机吧？
让小瓜们把他们觉得我本身的问题都说了出来
原来这段期间带领乐队   出了好多问题    
我本身觉得     我有在这假期做出成绩
只是过程和做决定的方式错了    
原来啊
再纠结过去的事物是没用了
我上位都快半年了
时间真的快不够了
只能全力以扑了    朋友们     为我祈祷吧
希望能把缺点改掉
我这个人最讨厌的就是留下遗憾   


我真的不想错过


说回早上吓醒
其实我算是做了个噩梦吧
我梦见了自己被送到一个岛屿上了
那里是不允许离开的     岛上的人是危险的
我依稀有印象    当我被送到岛屿过后     我先前的羁绊
一切回忆和曾经存在过的痕迹    
都消失不见了  
那时   我想起了好朋友们      
想到往后我就不在他们的记忆中了     连存在过的痕迹都不留
和他们的每个时刻     每个相处的片断    
都好像打从一开始就没存在过


想到都快崩溃了
然后我就醒来了
天空没有颜色     听到手机有信息的铃声
却依然躺在床上    可能心有余悸吧    
这一切是那么的真实     你想想看
当你知道你自己的存在只不过是谎言     
你会有什么感受？     


这个梦的意义     我并没有搞到很清楚
只不过我发现到     现实生活中      是变幻无穷的
下一秒发生的事     没有人知道       
不想自己的人生那么快被遗忘
虽然打从一开始人类已注定是短暂的一个转瞬即逝


差别只在于    
你想不想在这短暂的转瞬即逝
改变这个世界

DECEMBER ALREADY MAN!!
This december is one of my fullest month =) By fullest I mean that everything I do is meaningful and all the hard works finally paid off ~there's nothing happier than achieving your goal. I'm nt gonna elaborate on everything, if you wanna know what I'd been doing just check out my Facebook, hahaha. Anyway it's one of the times that I truly feel alive, and by alive I mean I am really grateful for everything, everybody around me and live life to the fullest everyday. By some point in november I was really emo and moody, and I felt that life really sucked. Literally. and I felt that my life was going down....but then everything changed and I was glad for it. 

So, don't look down on yourself, a human has infinite possibilities, if you truly believe in yourself, and add up your hard work and determination, you'll see the wonderful gifts of life. It's been a long time that I had struggled. 2011 was not a good year for me. I thought that everything was over. But then I'm Sze Han. I wouldn't go down so easily. I have a bunch of truly caring friends and sometimes I almost cried because I realized I still have so many good friends who are willing to share my sorrow and share my burden. From now on, I'll never be looking back, I'll try to cherish my life and everything around me. Thanks everybody for being by my side all those days, I can't find words to describe my gratitude for you =)





Anyway, Sze Han will rock on again =D I hope so ><

Better man

最近过得蛮充实的

虽然具体来说也说不出为什么

这个假期过得很快，快得我现在才发现已经要十二月了

而这个假期我都在干嘛呢?

我正干着一份工   是在Celcom Blue Cube打工的

嗯  真的很幸运我做了这份工

工作环境很不错  老板他们是严了点啦

工作时间也蛮长的   每一天都要去

我现在的问题是很难平衡做工和去乐队的时间

两边走有时真的会喘不过气    而且久了不懂健康会不会搞砸

不过确实也值得的 况且诗意有陪我做工

益辉,美萱和可欣也都在附近做

至少不会寂寞^^

所以其实我应该很感恩的

做了这份工   得到了社会经验  同时发现自己的弱点

说真的我弱点还蛮多的><不过为了薪水

为了想买的东西

我只有加油了  哈哈

这样的日子很快就过去了

再过不久又是新的一年了

我不想中学生涯的最后一次清闲假期就这样浪费了

因为我很多朋友都是在家吃喝玩乐  哈哈

其实我也想那样   不过我觉得是时候转换心态了

尝试新的东西会提升自己:) 还有最近做事也越来越有感觉了

生活也不会那么颓废了   

中四可以说是我最失败的一年   除了成绩很烂

也白白过了那么一年   虽然当中我觉得我成长了

也有很多很棒的回忆^^

最近也想了好多东西

要发觉世界的真理   真的很复杂

我是不是要傻了? ==

一直想些成人才会去想的事情

比如说世界的各种环境问题

还有活着的意义 哈哈哈 ==

最近又看到一个在fb的东西

说: Life is something to do when you're not sleeping

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

很对其实    人生只不过是如此

或许    不去想太多人生真的会比较好过

就像我的很多身边的人  活得安乐

只不过我总觉得这样的日子.....有些缺少了什么

说道做事有了感觉

不过其实还是有很多不足   我的情况呢

是在很劣势的环境下必须成功

这里有一部分是指乐队的事   现在在很努力的想办法带好它

这个很多回忆和我成长的地方  虽然到了目前已经有些东西遗失了

不过我没有选择   我必须坚持

'''不然我只不过是如此而已'''   哈哈我很喜欢这句话

是海贼王里索隆vs熊那里的对白

或许这就是我成长必经之路    

那样想的话   很多负面想法都会没了哈哈

还有  她><

最近几天她电话没钱了    开始坐立不安了==

我是在想念她吗   根本就是吧

星期六她要去台湾了

会想她吧 ><

我的这份情感会长久吗?

现在要说还很难吧

而且又得知了一件事   希望不是真的

我喜欢的她   或我的兄弟    这种选择我觉得我做不了

但我是摩羯座啊

我是李思翰 :)

如果我不对自己有信心   我不坚强

我早都垮了吧

那我就什么都不是  只不过是如此而已

><

Starry Night Sky

魔羯座的人平时都酷酷的一丝不苟的样子，大部分时间都面无表情，让你完全猜不透他内心的想法，而且他们也很少说类似“我爱你”之类的甜言蜜语，在他们看来说这种话丢脸死了，所以通常是他心软或者中真的心动的时候，才会对你说这样的话，所以如果他们带着关爱的眼神对你说出“我爱你”的时候就是真的认定你是他后半生的唯一了。不过有时候这些话甚至要你跟他结了婚以后才有机会听到，比如说看到你为他打造的幸福家庭，他好感动，那一刻，他可能就会说出来了

也许你印象中的摩羯是现实且冷酷的，但是你一定没想到，当他们被热烈的感情所征服时，会变得很忘我很痴情，当他们真心倾慕一个人的时候，那份深藏在心底的爱才会迸发出来，而且这种爱会是一发而不可收拾，经久不衰，尤其摩羯们对爱人和家庭有着极强的责任感，他们忠诚的爱逼迫自己要尽快给情人一个温暖且安定的家，这样兼顾面包与理想的爱，的确让人感觉很幸福很窝心!

摩羯座总是一个外表给人冷酷的，而且吵架了，虽然很难哄，而且不是一个道歉就能解决的，即使说了很多好话，我想摩羯爱人都不会给你好脸色看的，但是她的行动却证明已经原谅你了，如果你出现了什么困难，遇到不开心的事情了，摩羯一定会及时的出现在你身边，为你分担解忧的。责任心的作用会原谅的。

这三段是她在聊天时要我读的~~她还问我生日><

嗯不知为何我觉得很准 :) 天下 魔羯都是那样的吗? 

希望不是吧   那我能保留我的那一点特别了

哈哈在这之前  有很多事发生了

不过我选择放在心里就好了

我还真的说出口了 ><我也很佩服自己

不过还是要谢谢你丫<3真的很感谢你....

以后还会继续喜欢你><

现在烦着乐队的事   我天生很懒惰.....我想要改变我这一点

一定可以的:)

Lost Tower

Cried today....to be exact, two streaks of tears streamed down my right cheek just now

I'm in the car, coming home from dinner. Today's my mum's bday

but during that time, I feel that my heart is so painful...so sorry mum, I'll prepare your present by tomorrow morning.

I'm sms-ing with her..then she told me somethings... maybe it's just that I didn't understand it

or she didn't mean it but I interpret it that way anyhow...so I cried silently in the car.

What would happen if dad saw my tears == I can't imagine.

It's too difficult to say, but I really didn't understand some parts...but if that's what she really wants,

I'll go with it...I was home after that, but I don't have any mood to do anything..

I just lie on the bed waiting for her messages...and chatting with Yik Fei...

I asked him about those love love things >< suddenly feel like asking...because he's experienced  XD

Walau you really understand me... you really pro == I didn't tell you anything at all you already know who that girl is...you even said you simply guessed one. == I choose to believe you...bro><

After that her message came, I straight go open my computer..haha~~then find her~

I somehow feel sorry, but I just wanted to understand those parts that're blurry...I still feel pain ><

but after that during the time talking to her, I feel relieved and happy again ><

I think I'm sot sot already.... haha ==! But what can I do, I miss her again....

Hope you get well soon ya...really miss the time when I'm just behind you.

haha I'm talking about the time we're descending down the mountains in Cameron.

I really feel like I can protect you, that time.

I still feel it now =) But right now the happiest thing for me is to accompany you and talk with you.

I'd feel happy just doing that. Maybe I shouldn't expect anything yet....but yik fei said, 

If you really like her, then you'll like her for anything or everything ( I translated from Chinese XD because we're sms-ing with chinese) something like that lar~~~ but I just want her to be happy can already...><

Distance

今天是个特别的日子

一大早起床先发信息给她

对于昨晚真的很在意..

本来她不想理我的~该怎么说~

自己活该吧 >< 不过后来没事了

真的很开心 

也知道了 原来心痛是这种感觉

噢我的天  回来后又信息了她

我觉得自己好像很烦

可是我想念她....又能怎样><

希望她别讨厌我我就很开心了

哈哈

今天去看那些年 果然好看~~~

真的很有意思....看到柯腾说他就是那么幼稚才能一直追沈佳仪

我想起了她...哈哈

心中竟然有种说不出的酸

我在想

如果她有一天不理我了我会怎么办

从出生以来我第一次有这种深深的情感==

她对我来说

真的很不一样...

我能看着她的照片  傻笑好久好久

做什么都在想着她

顺着她

逗她开心我会很兴奋

跟她聊天会很期待

或许我真的喜欢她吧

未来我就真的不知道了

我想她没喜欢我吧...不知道 ><

暧昧是最好的感觉...那些年里有说

也有一句

‘我的世界, 只不过是你的心’

或许我隐隐约约明白那是什么意思吧